


Even Geniuses Are Dumb Sometimes

by Jessistired



Category: Batman: The Animated Series, DC Animated Universe (Timmverse)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:35:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23181820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessistired/pseuds/Jessistired
Summary: Harley comes to Selina in tears, Selina tries to fix the problem.
Relationships: Barbara Gordon/Kara Kent, Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel, Selina Kyle & Harleen Quinzel, Selina Kyle/Leslie Willis
Comments: 4
Kudos: 110





	Even Geniuses Are Dumb Sometimes

**Author's Note:**

> This was just something I forced out while going through writers block. I thought about that one episode of B:TAS and got sort of inspired. It's not a very serious fic, just a fun little thing.

Sometimes Selina Kyle wondered about just how smart you actually needed to be to get a doctorate. Sure, Ivy and Harley were her best friends and she admired them for a multitude of reasons, their brains included. That night, however, she found herself doubting both of their I.Q. levels.

It started when Harley burst into her apartment, crying hysterically. At first, Selina was genuinely concerned. But after she got Harley to calm down and explain herself Selina felt annoyance begin to prick at her.

It's the worst, Selina." Harley was a disturbing sight. She had tears running down her face and was talking in between stuffing her mouth with Selina's butter cookies. "She's replaced me with this Live Wire chick."

Selina was getting her a glass of water, "I'm sure she hasn't. She just wants to make a new friend."

"You don't understand. Live Wire is super strong, has these cool electrical powers, is super hot." Harley gasped with realization. "She's gonna kiss Ivy!"

This is where the idiot part of Harley comes in. Anyone with eyes could see that Harley and Ivy had feelings for each other. That is, except for Harley and Ivy. 

Selina, who found it hard to believe Ivy would hook up with anyone other than Harley asked, "What makes you think that?"

"They're on a heist together, alone." Harley wailed.

"Why aren't you with them?" Not a solution to the entire ‘problem’, but it would give Selina the peace and quiet she was previously enjoying.

"Because Live Wire suggested I stay behind, and Ivy agreed. She said it was too dangerous with Supergirl on our tail."

Selina sighed. Knowing Ivy, she probably was genuinely concerned for Harley's safety. Because despite what she tried to convince everyone, she truly cared about Harley.

Live Wire, on the other hand, was a whole different story. She probably just wanted to get into Ivy's pants. Which wouldn't bother Selina normally. After all, Ivy was a grown adult who actually seemed to prefer a non-messy emotionless relationship. But Selina knew that this might be her chance to finally force Ivy and Harley to admit how they feel to each other. She wasn’t about to pass up that chance.

"Okay. Tell me where they are and I'll go talk to Ivy." Like an adult. Which, judging from watching those two dance around each other for the past few months, she was the only one in the group.

"They're on a double date with Supergirl and Batgirl." Interesting information, but ultimately useless.

"So you don't know where?" Harley shook her head dejectedly. Selina sighed. "Fine, I'll go find them myself."

Harley, still crying, was no longer listening. Now she was taking over Selina’s couch to watch  _ Sex in the City _ . Selina considered counseling Harley for a moment, but she knew the real solution was to get Ivy here so she would talk to Harley. 

It took an hour to locate them. They were at one of Gotham's nicer malls. Ivy already had Supergirl and Batgirl tied up in some vines. 

Selina decided to mess with them first, then business. She deserved a reward for putting up with Ivy and Harley's bullshit.

"Hello Batgirl," She purred. "How's the date going?"

Supergirl blushed and looked refused to meet Selina's eye.

Batgirl, on the other hand, was immune to Selina's jests from exposure. "Where did you get that idea, Selina?"

"Harley." Selina was going to add more when she heard a crackling. Her instincts told her to move. That something was hurtling towards her. Not one to ignore the instincts that had saved her countless times, Selina jumped away from her spot.

She turned to see what looked like blue electricity zapping the spot she was on a second ago. Her eyes dotted around the open building until she found the figure responsible on the second floor. Live Wire, she assumed. 

The woman had pale blue skin and a sharp jawline. Her costume tightly hugged her figure, leaving very little to the imagination. 

"Well, what do we have here?" She called out in a husky voice. She seemed confident even though she had missed her first shot.

Harley was right, she was hot.

Selina smirked. "Just chatting up a lovely couple."

"Oh yeah?" Live Wire clenched her fists as sparks flew from them. Selina was more amused than anything else by this intimidation attempt. She always liked tough people.

"Yes. My name is Selina, but people around here call me Catwoman."

"Live Wire."

"So I've heard."

"Selina?" Ivy walked out of a department store with bags full of clothes. Judging from the clothes peeking out from the top of the bags, Selina guessed that Ivy picked up some surprise gifts for Harley. 

This made Selina smile. "Hey Ivy."

Live Wire looked at Ivy. "You know her?"

"She's a friend." Ivy turned back to Selina. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm coming to get you."

"Why?"

"Harley."

Ivy's eyes went wide. "Is she hurt?"

"Relax, your girlfriend is fine. She's on my couch crying her heart out though."

"What?" Ivy was too distracted to notice the girlfriend comment.

Selina shrugged. "Go there and see for yourself."

Ivy took off. Live Wire said, "Wait, what about our heist?"

"Another time, promise," Ivy called over her shoulder.

Live Wire shrugged and looked back at Selina.

"So," Selina said. "Electricity. Must be fun."

"Yeah." Live Wire pointed to Selina's whip, "What's that for?"

Selina took the whip off of her hip and snapped it into the air. "Whatever I want."

Live Wire leaned against the railing, "You have plans tonight?"

"Not yet."

"Oh?"

"But I suggest we get out of here and lose the goody two shoes over here." Selina jerked her thumb at the two heroes, who were still struggling hopelessly against the vines. "I know this great diamond exchange."

"And afterwards?"

"Well, I'm pretty confident that Harley and Ivy will be going back to their own apartment soon."

"Let me get my stuff." Live Wire walked back into the store she first came out of.

Selina turned to Batgirl.

"Come on," Batgirl goaded. "Cut us free."

"Yeah," Supergirl added. "We promise to go easy on you."

Selina laughed, "Sorry girls, I've got a date." She walked up to Batgirl and whispered into her ear. "Why don't you put that poor girl out of her misery and ask her out?"

Batgirl actually squirmed when Selina said that. Good. It's nice to know she could occasionally still get under Batgirl’s skin.

"You coming?" Live Wire called.

Selina gave the heroes a quick wave bye. Now it was time for her reward.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! I might write a part two about Ivy and Harley or even Kara and Barbra, if I ever get inspired by this again. If you liked it, feel free to leave a kudos or comment.


End file.
